i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
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So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
It's no shave November. This is our time.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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