This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I FOUND THE LEGS
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Randomize
