I feel great
I just peed on a car
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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