That's when you crack a 10am beer
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
