I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
