bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
