You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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