so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
