i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
