Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
