My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
