he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize