how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
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I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
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