its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
