I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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