these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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