sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
