Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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