TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize