Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
