The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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