I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize