I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
