So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I queefed so loud it echoed.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Randomize
