after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Randomize
