her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
