There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
