Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize