Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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