$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
