Quick, to the slutcave!
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
