I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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