So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
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I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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