someone threw a dead crab at me
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
