Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
the raccoons are back...
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