Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Randomize