his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
