Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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