your parents love me but you hate me
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
