I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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