He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
