you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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