quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I will be naked everywhere
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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