Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two words: blizzard sex
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize