Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
