Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
