As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
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I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
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HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
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