im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
