i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
You had me at "let me see your balls"
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
