Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize