i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Randomize