You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
