i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
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