Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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