im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
