alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
