5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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