it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Randomize
