You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Randomize
