Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
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